How many times have we told ourselves that if we just start making a higher income or reach a certain greater dollar amount of investments that our money problems would go away?

I know I’ve caught myself thinking this way before. But here’s the rub…

Once we’ve achieved a solid income and accumulated a good amount of investments, our “money problems” are rarely just about money anymore.

Instead, these “money problems” show us that we haven’t clearly aligned with our partners on what specifically matters most to us. 

Think about the last money conversation you had with your spouse or partner.

Did it become emotional? Did you feel like someone “won” and someone “lost”? Or did you both walk away feeling good about the decisions you made?

In my experience, the more emotional our conversations around money are, the more likely it is that we either lack alignment around — or have lost sight of — our shared values and priorities. 

And this makes sense, right? Because if we don’t have something in place to evaluate our money decisions against, our emotions are all that we have to guide us.

So the next time a conversation around money decisions becomes emotional, take a deep breath and stop to ask yourself why. Putting space between the emotions you're experiencing and your reaction allows you to reflect on why you’re feeling this way. 

Do you need to revisit your shared values and priorities with your partner? Or is the real issue that you’ve never talked and agreed upon your shared values around this particular money issue in the first place? 

Make no mistake – the process of establishing and aligning on your shared values and priorities takes time, effort, and hard work. But it’s time well spent. Finding alignment empowers you and your partner to use your money to live your best life together. And I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a much better life to me than one where our emotions around our money prevent us from doing so.