Here's why you shouldn't pursue happiness

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

I just want to be happy.

Oh, hello there inner monologue!

So what’s the big problem with chasing happiness?

Here are a few reasons why it might not be best and a simple formula to consider using instead.

1) Happiness is a temporary state

Like it or not, no one is happy all the time. Happiness is one of many emotions we all experience on a daily, hourly, and even minute-to-minute basis. This rollercoaster ride of emotions is simply part of being human. When we make a temporary state our main goal in life, that’s a recipe for disappointment.

2) We can’t just tell ourselves to be happy.

Try telling yourself to be happy right now. Go ahead, I’ll wait...

How’d that work out for you?

Happiness requires action. That action could be as simple as turning on Netflix. But no matter what it is, our happiness can be traced back to the actions we have taken. And when we recognize that the happiness we experience is a by-product of our actions, the logical question becomes…

What type of actions are likely to produce the most happiness in my life?

3) Effort + meaning = level of happiness experienced

Each action we take produces a different level or intensity of happiness.

Sure we can easily turn on Netflix and get excited to start a new series — but how long does that happiness last? Did you make it more than a few minutes before you were back on your phone checking social media for another quick hit of happiness?

Then on the other end of the spectrum, there’s the action of being a parent.

Do our kids drive us crazy sometimes and occupy pretty much all of our time? You know it! Yet they also stand out as the biggest source of ongoing happiness, meaning, purpose, fulfillment, and pride in our lives.

So while we’re unlikely to ever find ourselves in a permanent state of bliss, that doesn’t mean we can’t stack the deck in our favor.

Let’s stop chasing happiness and start pursuing meaning.

While this approach certainly requires more thought and effort than constantly chasing surface-level happiness, you’re much more likely to find the sense of fulfillment you seek.

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