Are you reacting or responding?

Photo by Arnaud Weyts on Unsplash

In Brad Stulberg’s excellent new book Master of Change, he does a great job of highlighting the difference between a reaction and a response. 

Whereas a reaction is often driven by pure emotion, a response adds space for processing our emotions prior to choosing – or not! – to respond. And while this is not a new concept it certainly can be a helpful reminder.

For example, how many times a day do you look at your phone? And how many of those times do you WANT to look at your phone versus it being an involuntary reaction?

In my case, I found myself on my phone way, way, WAY too much. While it was easy to excuse my behavior as necessary because friends, family, and clients needed to be able to reach me, I recognized that I needed to create more space between myself and my phone.

Enter my new Apple Watch. 

Now if someone important needs to reach me by text or phone, I know I’ll be notified. But by limiting the notifications I receive on my watch to only include the urgent and important, I’m able to leave my phone out of reach — which forces me to make a choice as to whether or not I really want to get up and be on my phone at that moment or not.

In the short time since implementing this experiment, I quickly realized I don’t benefit from checking my email 800 times a day on my phone. Who knew!

I was reacting because my phone was so accessible. But it was not a necessary response. 

I’m also finding that I’m now less anxious and more present and I also find it easier to focus. And now when I do use my phone, it’s because I’ve made a choice to do so.

So I’d encourage you to ask yourself...

Where are you reacting in your life that you want to be responding instead?

Whether it’s personal or professional, financial or otherwise, some of the lowest hanging “life improvement” fruit is found in being more intentional about our reactions and responses.

Give it a try and let me know what you come up with. I hope you find it as helpful as I have.