Adulting got you down?
Adulting is a dance we are all forced to perform and it’s one that can feel particularly taxing these days. We are attempting to tackle an ever-expanding list of competing priorities with our limited financial resources within a finite amount of time.
How’s that working out for you right now? Frustrated much? You’re certainly not alone there.
How does one get “better” at adulting? Is that even possible right now?
One answer – the one I find myself using personally and suggesting to others quite often – is to zoom out and look at your bigger picture. Once you’ve zoomed out, you’ll then be able to zoom back in with greater clarity and act with intention around what really matters most to you.
Getting this process started or revisiting it from time to time usually involves asking yourself questions like these:
What is it that I want from my life right now? And what is it that I aspire to in the future?
Now if reading these two questions has you headed to the couch with a bowl of ice cream ready to binge on some Netflix, I certainly don’t blame you. These are heavy questions and you probably feel like you don’t have the mental capacity and/or time to answer them right now.
But before I lose you completely, first let’s try removing some of the underlying pressure associated with these questions, shall we? Here’s a thought that can help with that.
Looking at your big picture is NOT an exercise in getting things “right.”
Take a moment to let that sink in. Enjoy the deep breath and/or audible sigh it likely produced.
When you let go of having to set the “right” goals, you’ve freed yourself up to make your best guess instead. And when you relieve yourself of having to be “right,” you start to feel that constant, low-grade anxiety typically associated with adulting begin to melt away.
Looking at your big picture is not merely about setting goals but rather an exercise in creating a flexible framework – one that is built to adjust as your life and best guesses for the future change. This approach can also help you regain a sense of agency around your decision-making as you deal with life’s many uncertainties.
Another benefit of this approach is how the actions that matter most start to become clear. You quickly realize which actions don’t serve you well and how letting them go frees up more time for the ones that do.
So whenever the adulting dance has you down, remember that there is a process you can use and revisit as often as you need to re-prioritize and refocus your actions. Zoom out, look at your big picture, and make your best guesses. Then you can zoom back in with greater clarity and intention. You won't always get it “right,” but it will help you enjoy the never-ending, inescapable dance that is adulting.
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