Thanksgiving time serves as an annual reminder to slow down, reflect, and be grateful for all that we already have in our lives. And while those first two parts can be relatively simple to do, finding greater gratitude can be a tougher nut to crack.

Last year, we discussed how we can find more gratitude when we stop comparing ourselves to others and look inward instead. This year, let’s talk about how changing the words we use can bring a greater sense of gratitude to both our personal and financial lives.

Try this simple exercise:

Everytime you catch yourself starting to say, “I have to ___”, replace it with “I get to ___….”

For example…

Instead of saying, “I have to drive my daughter and her friends to soccer practice tonight,” try saying, “I get to drive my daughter and her friends to soccer practice tonight.” Now take a moment to notice how you feel.

The words we choose make a big impact on our sense of gratitude.

Having to drive your kids around to their activities is a chore you would rather not be doing. But what if it’s something we get to do instead?

How lucky are we that we get to spend that extra time with our kids? How many other kids are dropped off by someone else because their parents are too busy? How will being physically present in our kids’ lives have a positive impact on our kids and our relationship with them?

We don’t have to do it, we get to do it.

The same logic and reasoning can be applied to our financial lives.

Do we have to use our emergency fund to replace our sump pump in the basement — or do we get to?

When we have to, we’re pissed about this unforeseen expense that has now ruined our week.

When we get to, we’re acknowledging our foresight to set aside enough in our cash cushion to deal with situations like these – ones we know will arise even if we don’t know exactly when and what they will be.

The process of swapping out have to for get to might be simple but like anything new, it takes time to create the habit. So rather than getting discouraged, cut yourself some slack. Don’t worry about getting it right all the time, just work on doing it more. And if you’re really struggling, it’s probably time to revisit your current commitments, assess whether or not they align with what matters most to you, and readjust to make sure you’re building in the flexibility that life so often requires.

I hope you find this exercise helpful as you slow down and reflect on what matters most to you this holiday season. Happy Thanksgiving from my family to you and yours!

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