We all think about money differently. And when we dig into why that is, it usually tracks back to the money lessons we learned – or didn’t! – earlier on in our lives. Now with kids of our own, we hope to pass on the positive lessons we learned while correcting those that we still struggle with ourselves. And while I certainly don’t have it all figured out, I thought it might be helpful to share a little bit about how my wife and I are approaching teaching our kids about money and hopefully instilling the values of gratitude and charity in our house right now. 

Deciding how to structure allowance and chores

We started our now 8-year-old daughter on a weekly allowance a few years back using ‘spend, save, and give’ jars. At the time, seeing the actual cash seemed important so she got a $1 bill for each jar each week. Well, she did until we ran out of the original stack of $1 bills we got from the bank! We then quickly moved onto learning about IOUs.

As she’s gotten older, she’s noticed we rarely use cash and mostly purchase things online and/or using a card. We’ve moved on to using an app called Rooster Money to manage her weekly allowance using virtual spend, save, and give jars. She can check and see how much she has in each virtual jar at any time on the iPad. We deduct money out of the appropriate virtual jar when she spends it and can track and review how she’s spent her money together.

As a parent, one of the hardest parts is letting them make their own choices and learn from their spending decisions. We want to tell them not to waste their money on another app and know they will be bored after 20 minutes. But in my opinion, it’s better to let them learn from their spending decisions now while those decisions are financially insignificant. 

When it comes to allowance and chores, we’ve separated them. She gets her allowance each week and she’s got chores she’s expected to do as part of being part of the family. We then offer extra chores she can do if she’s interested in earning more money. 

Instilling a sense of gratitude and charity

While setting up an allowance and chore system can be straightforward, instilling a sense of gratitude and charity in our kids doesn’t come with a manual.

I’ve personally found that it starts with us as parents acknowledging just how lucky we are. I’m not saying anyone reading or listening to this hasn’t worked hard or doesn’t deserve what they have, but chances are we’ve been dealt a relatively good hand and most of our problems are of the first world variety. 

The more we can acknowledge how lucky we are ourselves, the easier it becomes to point it out to our kids. Adopting this approach presents gratitude in a natural, positive way rather than holding it over their heads in a negative way. (You know, like when they have the nerve to cry because you said no to the chocolate waffle cone upgrade at the ice cream shop!) 

The more you’re able to present gratitude in a positive manner, the easier it becomes to introduce charity in the same way. Rather than talking to your kids about charity in theory, it’s helpful to involve them in the decision-making process by making it relatable to them. 

For example, we recently decided to sponsor a 9 year old girl in the Philippines. My daughter was able to see pictures and read about the children who were in need of a sponsorship. She chose a girl her own age who had been waiting a long time to be sponsored and whose family made less money than some others.

We’ve already written a letter together to her new friend and she’s begun contributing from her give jar each month as well.

What works for your family?

While there’s no one ‘right’ way to teach your kids about money — and this is far from a comprehensive guide on the topic — I hope it’s helpful in starting the conversation in your family. The key is trying out new approaches until you find the one that works best for your kids.

Do you have any success stories to share or additional questions about teaching your kids about money?

Please send them my way and I’ll do my best to share and answer them.

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