Thanksgiving time presents an opportunity for reflection. 

We take time to appreciate the relationships and creature comforts that we’re lucky enough to experience in our lives. Our reflection also serves as a helpful reminder that when we look at the bigger picture, most of our problems are truly first-world in nature.

But let’s also take a moment to recognize the difficulties we individually face. When we acknowledge that our own lives aren’t always full of puppies and rainbows, it’s much easier to remain grateful and empathize with others. 

This exercise also highlights a challenge we all face.

How do we continue to grow while remaining grateful for all that we already have?

I believe the answer lies in who we choose to compare ourselves to.

Comparing ourselves to people with more can be motivating on the one hand but it’s also easy to become bitter – especially if we feel like we are more deserving than those who have more than us. If we’re not careful, we can also end up feeling dejected if our measuring stick is someone that’s much further down the road than we are.

On the flipside, comparing ourselves to people with less can often leave us feeling guilty for even aspiring towards more in the first place. If we’re not careful, this comparison can also quickly morph into a story we tell ourselves – i.e. an excuse – as to why we didn’t take the actions necessary to move in the direction of what we aspire to. And no story is as powerful as the one we tell ourselves about ourselves.

So who exactly is it that we should be comparing ourselves to?

The one comparison worth making is to the person staring right back at you in the mirror.

When we let go of external comparisons, we can begin to look inward. 

Where did I start from? 

Where am I at right now? 

Where do I aspire to be in the future?

Asking ourselves these questions allows us to see what has and hasn’t worked for us in the past. We slowly begin to realize how adjusting our actions moving forward can help get us closer to where we hope to be.

So the next time you find yourself feeling out of sorts financially or emotionally, consider asking yourself…

Compared to what?

If your answer is your neighbor, friend, sister, or colleague, remember that the only comparison that matters is the one staring right back at you in the mirror.

Happy Thanksgiving from my family to yours. While it’s probably a little different this year, you can still serve up a slice of growth and gratitude pie by reminding the people you care about how much they mean to you.

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